Look to the Future
by Laera Draconian
Summary: A look into Snape's childhood life as he starts Hogwarts. The Marauder's are slightly OOC.


Title: Look to the Future

Summary: A look into the life of the young Severus Snape as he begins his first year at Hogwarts. Warnings: Violence, mild language.

Chapter One: A New Beginning.

A young pale skinny child with greasy hair sat in the corner of the darkened room. The shouting of his parents echoed still in his tired ears, hours after they had stopped. His head drooped onto his chest as he curled his legs up to his chin. It was always like this. First the shouting, then the fighting and inevitably (he winced) the beating. A curtain of hair was all that stopped him from seeing the defeated look of his mother on the other side of the room. In her own darkened corner. They hardly spoke now. Not that it mattered, he thought coldly. There was nothing he could say to her to make anything better than it already was.

And she had no words of comfort for him.

No, Severus Snape was all alone. His world was an irreparable mess and he was the only one that could change it. There was a small shuffle at the other end of the room and the sound of coughing. He chanced a glance through the greasy hair at his mother. He could almost see her face through the darkness. He squinted at her green robes. There were little flecks of red on them and her head was bent almost to the ground. She didn't stir again, but her chest was rising and falling at intermittent intervals. Almost as though she was forcing herself to remember to breathe.

Severus clenched his teeth angrily and turned away. Resting his head against the cool surface of the wall he struggled to shut his thoughts away. But the task was proving impossible. She was a witch! She was a witch and she still refused to defend herself! Night after night she would take the beatings and stand for the betrayals and yet still refuse to fight back. He would never understand the logic behind her actions and his own indecisiveness was beginning to affect him.

Even as the thoughts formed, he found himself refuting their claim. There was nothing he could do. It was not his decision to make; if she wanted the pain then it was hers to enjoy. The young boy forced himself to his feet and staggered against the wall as a spasm of pain shot through his back. He grit his teeth and stumbled out the room into the cold of the autumn night.

Almost immediately the frosty air bit into his exposed skin; his face and hands. A gasp of pain escaped his lips unbidden. His feet didn't falter, even though every inch of his body was screaming for the warmth of indoors. A grim smirk tilted his lips upward. Oh yes, he would use her magic for such things that made him happy. For the warmth that heated the one roomed shack he forced them to live in. For the upkeep of the mansion that rightfully belonged to Mrs. _Snape._ He was a lecherous repulsive fool. Severus would have laughed if he wasn't so appalled that he was the man's son.

It didn't matter, he thought with a rare fluttering of hope in his empty stomach. He only had two weeks to go again, and then he would be starting school. Yes, no more of this muggle nonsense he had to deal with for five years. Ever since he learned he was a wizard, all he wanted to do was learn the uses of his magic. To feel like he was something more than his mother. To feel like he was truly appreciated for what he was capable of.

And now that time was almost here. His father would not want him to go of course, but that was no problem. It didn't matter what the hell he thought, he had no say in this. Besides, the only way he would find out is if his fool of a mother told him. And he had already bought his supplies. Hidden carefully under a loose board in his own corner of the shack, was his second hand trunk with all his bright, new, shiny books. He had been very surprised to learn that his mother was almost rich in the wizarding world.

The pale boy stopped walking when he reached the park. Looking back he could barely see through the darkness that shrouded the coven of trees in which his home lay. Ahead of him was the more populated section of Spinner's End. Here there was a dilapidated section of houses behind a filthy swamp. It was a wonder the government hadn't already destroyed the town out of mere sympathy. The inhabitants were a scraggly bunch. They all gave one the impression that it would be better to be dead than to be forced into such poverty.

The park was a nice place though, Severus thought. It was not dirty, and the farthest piece of open grass from the swamp itself. There were no animals wandering about this late, and the mosquitoes were noticeably absent due to the drop in temperature of late summer. Summer. Such a strange season, he reflected. It never really came to Spinner's End. It was always so cold. The nearest government building was a mile away, in Crawling Peg. The children there were all better off than those in his little village, but they always seemed to be a little afraid of the poorer ones and so no ill ever came of it. He was used to it now, and he supposed it was better off that way as life in, what was it? Hogwarts? Yes, life in Hogwarts would be much the same.

Life would have to be better then. At any rate it couldn't be worse than now. He sat on the broken swing in the near side of the park. His small fingers wrapped around the rusted chain carefully. The cold from the air had worked its way into his very bones now, and he could no longer tell the difference between the metal of the chain links and the wooden board surface of the seat. In a way the numbness frightened him. It was the expression of disregard. The embodiment of unfeeling bliss. And while it scared him as he was taught it should, he embraced it. If one couldn't feel, then one would not feel pain.

Severus closed his eyes and leaned on the chain. Yes, he contemplated, he would escape soon.

Xxx

"Be careful Severus." His mother demurred with one of her soft and infrequent smiles. Her hair fell flat about her long thin face in such a manner that it almost made her pretty. Severus smiled back at her. She looked happy for the first time in so long that he was almost deigned to forgive her the bad judgment she had used when choosing a husband. The hustle behind her that filled the station this day was very welcome to the young child. The morning was bright, beautiful and promising. The young Snape was excited like he had never felt before. This was a day of new beginning. A day where he could shed the past and live like he had never done before.

His mother beamed at him as she retreated into the crowd on Platform nine and three quarters. Her eyes shone with a light he had never seen in them before. It was nice, he thought. It was nice to see her happy. He waved to her and turned to enter the hallway of the train. Severus tried not to think about what she was returning to. His father would no doubt wonder where his son had disappeared to. It didn't matter that he didn't like the boy, but he feared him. He feared that the young Severus would someday escape his control, and now he had. And his mother would have to bear the punishment.

He winced inwardly and pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind. It was her choice to make, and there was nothing he could do about it yet. He pushed his trolley through the narrow hallway of the train, a task made harder by the fact that it was also crowded with students. He caught snatches of conversation as he passed the compartments already filled.

"Did you hear that Professor Beaste is pregnant?"

"No way! And I just thought she was getting fat…"

"I can't believe Mcgonagall actually expected me to do detention over the holidays!"

"She's mad that one…"

Severus' heart sank slightly as he realized almost all the compartments were filled with students who all seemed to know each other. He found himself wondering how many first years came from magically shut off homes when a gentle voice interrupted him.

"Excuse me, are you looking for a seat?" The young Snape looked at the girl who had spoken. She had a sweet smile and round face accentuated by the red locks of hair framing her face. He wouldn't have been surprised if she sprouted wings.

"Y..yes, I'm…I'm new this term." He stammered quickly as he realized she wanted a reply. Her eyes brightened at his words.

"Really? So am I. Lily Evans." She spoke in the joyful tinkling that was her voice. She held out her hand. The dazed boy took it warily.

"Severus Snape. This is my First Year." He answered, hardly taking notice of what he was saying. She giggled as he repeated himself.

"Yes you already told me that. Anyway, There's a free seat in there if you want." She gestured to the compartment behind her. "There are only boys in there so I felt a little strange. Maybe I'll see you at school Severus. Later." Severus blushed bright red as she walked away, carrying with her the sound of sunlight. He pulled open the compartment door and entered. His eyes darted around at the three boys there. Instantly he felt like an outsider. Even though they weren't talking to each other, they seemed to belong together. And he felt alienated. He muttered a low apology and began to back out.

"Hey wait," one of the boys stood as he addressed him. Severus forced himself to look up. He had spiky brown hair that somehow managed to look very tame, and deep set eyes that look tremendously tired.

"If you're looking for a seat, it's going to be hard to find one out there with such a crowd. Besides, the train is about to leave anyway." Severus' flush deepened. Almost as thought this was the cue it was waiting for, the train began to slowly move away from the station. He turned his attention back to them. This boy was so polite to him. Coming from a place where he was always looked upon as an outsider, it felt strange to be addressed in such a respectful manner. To boy continued, "My name is Remus Lupin." He held out his hand.

A very surprised Snape grasped it briefly. "I'm Severus Snape." The other boy nodded. "Nice to meet you. Let me help you with that." Remus bent to give him a hand with his trunk. Gratefully, he held the other end and together they hoisted it to the top of the compartment. As he dusted his hands off, he looked at the other two. One of them immediately stood and gave him a confident smile.

"James Potter." He too grasped the confused boy's hand briefly before returning to his seat. Snape sat cautiously. He too had brown hair that looked like it needed trimming. His eyes had a piercing gleam hidden within the startling green of their colour. The one called Potter continued. "I've never heard of a Snape from my parents, tell me, did your father go to school in Hogwarts?" Severus stared at him. This boy was obviously from a completely wizarding family. He must know so much more than me, Severus realized suddenly. The knowledge made him slightly uneasy, but he didn't back down anyway.

"No, my father is not a wizard. My mother, however did." At this the third boy started suddenly. The other two jumped at the sudden movement by the silent observer.

"So you're a mud- uh half-blood?" He asked interested. This one was very different from the other two. His eyes looked slightly wild. His hair, like Severus, fell about his face framing the incandescence of his pallor. Somehow, Snape felt a connection between them. He felt the desperate need for escape mirrored in this boy in front of him.

"I'm a…what?" Severus asked, not liking to appear ignorant but seeing no other alternative. James rolled his eyes. "He means you're not a pure blood. Not like it matters." He added throwing a heavy glare in the unnamed boy's direction. If this was supposed to be an explanation then I must be thicker than I thought, Snape reflected. His confusion must have been apparent on his face for James began speaking again.

"A pure-blood is someone with a wizard and a witch for parents." Ah, this made more sense, he considered. Glancing up, he chanced a look at the other boy. He had retreated to his side of the cabin and was looking quite annoyed. Without warning, he looked up and locked eyes with Severus.

"I am Sirius Black." Severus was quite prepared for the handshake this time and accepted it firmly. At the mention if his name, it was Potter's turn to jump. "Black? As in The Noble House of Black and all that?" the look on his face was just as interested as the one he was addressing. Sirius held his gaze for only a moment and then his eyes dropped to the floor.

"I would not call them Noble." He demurred. There was silence as all four boys contemplated the others. Severus' confusion grew. It seemed there was more for him to learn than just magic. This new world he had entered was as complex as the one he had left, and he knew nothing of what lay ahead of him. It was not to be helped however; the only person who could have possibly prepared him for it was bound by the chains neither of them knew how to break. But before he could voice his fears, Sirius spoke up.

"I'm sorry, I was rude, please forgive me." His eyes bored earnestly into Severus'. "I, of all people should know that your family does not make you who you are." He smiled. The young Snape returned it, somewhat unwillingly. For the first time in his memory, Severus Snape's intuition had been wrong. These three were as different as the colours of the rainbow, and yet as with all colours, there was a link between them. There was some similarity there hidden beneath their characters and flowing from one extreme to another. Despite his just meeting them, he felt a deep attraction to the three. Their polite, unassuming manners and deep seated humility were just a few pieces of the puzzle they were made of. Or perhaps he just liked them because they were different from everything he had ever known, and therefore had to be…good. He leaned against the back of the seat and closed his eyes.

"ANYTHING FROM THE TROLLEY?" A loud female voice blared out in the corridor causing all four boys to jump. Sirius and James immediately jumped to their feet and simultaneously pulled open the compartment door. The combined force of their efforts caused the entire frame to shudder and fall off their hinges into the hall. Severus let out a loud bark of laughter and was surprised to discover that Remus too was chortling with amusement. Sirius and James, somewhat red-faced, but also wearing wide apologetic grins were attempting to set the sliding door back in its place. The trolley lady looked deeply amused.

"So what'll it be boys? Pumpkin Pasties? Collapsing Cauldrons? Oh here's a new one, Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans?" Severus stood to go help the other two with the door. With a relieved sigh, Sirius pulled out a heavy looking bag of gold to make his selection. When he realized he was being observed, he surreptitiously attempted to hide it from view. Severus quickly set the door back in place and returned to his seat, careful to stare out the window, rather than look at the two buying out the trolley. He was used to doing without, and he had never been embarrassed about his status in life, but for some reason, he wanted to impress this group. Thankfully, Remus began speaking to him.

"Severus, do you know how to play chess?" Snape's head jerked away from the window and toward the earnest boy. A wide grin spread across his face.

"Yes I do. I love the game." He replied with zest. Remus grinned back at him and pulled out a small board and pieces. "Excellent. I've been looking for someone who can give me a good challenge for a while. Care for a game?" Severus nodded. As he reached over to help him with setting up the pieces, something flew across the compartment toward Severus' head. Reflexively, his hand shot out and plucked it from the air before it hit him. He looked at the object in his hands. It was a small purple bag with the words "Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans" emblazoned on it. He looked quizzically over at James and Sirius. Sirius grinned at him wickedly, "I've heard these have toenail flavoured ones. I'd much prefer if you taste them first." Severus smirked, but obliged. "Thank you."

A few hours later, James and Sirius were already quite stuffed, Remus had won one game and Severus had two to his name, and it was getting dark outside. Severus felt his excitement begin to build. He was almost there. The door slid open and a tall girl with silver hair walked in. She wore an expression that very plainly said that there was something in there that she did not like. Severus gazed coldly back at her. She sniffed once, and then her eyes lighted upon Sirius. She immediately smiled. Whether it was because he was naturally good looking or otherwise, he couldn't tell. His curiosity was soon satisfied.

"There you are Sirius, I've been looking all over for you, cousin. We're nearly there, that annoying woman who runs the trolley says we should change into our robes now. I'm not sure whether or not we should listen to her, after all, its said that only squibs and mudbloods work in such revolting jobs." She gave her cousin a winning smile, as though suggesting that she had just paid him a most flattering compliment. Sirius looked embarrassed and irritated. Nevertheless, he answered her.

"Thank you Narcissa. I'll see you there." Somewhat miffed, she turned and left the compartment without another word. Sirius looked abashed. "That revolting young woman is my cousin, Narcissa Black. I'm sorry you had to meet her." The others said nothing, but changed into their robes all the same.

When the train screeched to a stop, they stepped out the compartment one by one and into the line waiting to depart. As Severus exited the locomotive, the first thing he saw was a massive lake. The shimmering starlight dancing on its rippling water was avidly enchanting. It extended so far out that he could only wonder where it came from. At the water's near edge, there were a large number of four man boats, and a tall man with a very long beard was standing near them with a kindly smile on his face.

"First years over here please." He shouted over the noise of the older ones. A small section of the sea of black robes broke their course at his words and headed to where he was standing. Severus and the others followed.

"My name is Professor Dumbledore. Please get into the boats quickly and quietly. No more than four to a boat." He said, after which he promptly got into the nearest boat and beckoned to three frightened looking students in front of him.

"Wicked!" Sirius whispered and pulled James after him as he raced over to the closest boat. Remus laughed and gave Severus a nudge to follow. "Come on, or we'll end up with them!" He said with a grin, pointing to a red haired, petrified looking boy and a smirking silver haired one. They looked so at odds that he couldn't help grinning back and following the excited duo with Remus.

They sat in the boat and it instantly began gliding across the water at a supernatural speed. The one with the Professor was already far ahead of the others.

"This is amazing," James said in awe as he looked over the side of the boat to the shimmering water below. Severus could only agree as he appreciated the effect. The speed of the magical object also astounded him. It was a magnificent feeling. Suddenly Sirius stood and yelled out at the darkness, "GET READY HOGWARTS FOR SIRIUS BLACK!" The other three boys collapsed in laughter, gripping the sides of the boat to steady themselves. The sudden movement combined with the kinetics of the boat caused a massive convulsion and the front of the boat tipped forward sending all four young wizards failing and yelling into the water. A wave of fresh water submerged Severus as he fought for air. But before another could claim him permanently, something soft wrapped around his legs and pushed him up and back into the boat. Sirius landed next to him, slightly shaken and thoroughly soaked. Remus and James had managed to hold on to the sides of the small vessel and so were only half wet.

"What the bloody hell was that?" Sirius coughed as Severus amusedly wondered what he had gotten himself into. He looked over the side of the boat again. For a second, Severus thought he saw a huge tentacle moving under the water. Almost as if it were waving at him. He fought the urge to laugh once more. "Hey look at that!" Remus shouted excitedly. They looked up to where he was pointing. A castle was waiting for them at the edge of the lake. A huge, black, medieval castle. The turrets were lit from within while all other openings in the castle shone with a magical light.

"Hogwarts." James whispered. "We're finally here." They fell silent after that, none of them wanting to ruin the moment. Severus could only feel happy. He never wanted to forget the moment.

Ten minutes later they were entering the gates of the castle and standing in line. As they passed into the threshold, Professor Dumbledore stood to greet them. As his eyes passed over the four soaked first years, they twinkled with amusement.

"I see you fancied a dip in the lake this fine evening young ones." It was not a question. Severus flushed. "No problem, I suppose but you cannot have your first day at Hogwarts marred by first impressions." He added gently. He raised his wand and tapped each of them as they passed by. At the point where Severus was touched with the cool wood, a deep warmth sprouted and spread through his body. Looking down, he could see his clothes had dried and the wrinkles in them had evened out.

"Welcome to Hogwarts, I am Professor Slughorn. This way now." said a rather short fat man in bright green robes at the head of the line. He opened a door at the end of the entranceway. A bright flash greeted their eyes as a thousand hovering candles lit the Great Hall. There were four tables set side by side and laden with enough food to feed an army, together with another long table set at the head of these four. Severus assumed that must be the teacher's table. They followed Professor Slughorn up the middle aisle separating the four tables pack with students. He stopped them as a small stool came into view. Severus strained his eyes to see what was on top of it. It looked like a brown bag. Then, just as the Hall grew quiet, the bag burst into song.

_Once I remember, when I was young,_

_The Great Four, there were, brave and strong._

_With Strength and Brilliance, _

_Cunning and Love, _

_They conquered ignorance;_

_Below and Above._

_They strove to create the school you behold, _

_Yet they did not know that hate would unfold._

_For within their ranks, distrust, as it goes, _

_Grew hidden, untempered, an unfortunate goal._

_To deny those called weak, Griffindor wanted,_

_To keep only brilliance, was Ravenclaw's wish,_

_Said Slytherin, "Only cunning will find its way here!"_

_And Hufflepuff cried, "I'll treat them all with care."_

_And despite their differences, the school yet prospered_

_For within their choices, only one really mattered,_

_And that is the reason, dear students, I am here_

_To choose out of you, those who fit, and where._

_And the choice that mattered? You ask with interest, _

_Is to keep you all, despite whose enlistment,_

_And so you are warned, do not take this choice lightly_

_For without it you are lost, without and unsightly. _

The Hall erupted with applause as bag ended its song. To Severus, it didn't mean anything, but it evidently was important to the others. He applauded anyway. "You just have to put on the hat then." Remus whispered beside him. Severus looked askance at him. "It's the sorting. This is how they sort us into our houses." He continued. Ah so that was it. They were sorted into houses according to their nature. But how did the…hat (was it?) know what the different students were like? He made a mental point to ask it.

"Bagman, Ludo." Professor Slughorn spoke clearly. The happy looking boy walked forward and sat on the chair while Slughorn placed the hat on his head. It went all the way down to his ears. A few seconds later it yelled "Hufflepuff!" Bagman, looking slightly disappointed hurried off to the second table on the left.

"Black, Bellatrix." Severus looked over at Sirius who was pointedly staring at the floor. "Yeah, that's Narcissa's sister." After a few moments the hat shouted, "Slytherin!" Sure enough the silver haired beauty sidled up to the stool. Severus felt a growing apprehension in his stomach. What kind of house would he be put in? Would it be the best of the lot?

"Black, Sirius." Severus looked up. Sirius looked slightly scared. Both his cousins had been placed in Slytherin. Maybe one got placed according to family? As his face disappeared under the hat, he locked eyes with Severus. A minute passed. Another passed slowly. A slow buzz of noise grew from the waiting students. He could guess what they were talking about. Just when it seemed as though someone would have to intervene, the hat made its choice.

"Gryffindor!"

Instead of the wild clapping that had greeted the others, a stunned silence ensued. Sirius stood slowly and carefully made his way across the Great Hall. From the Slytherin table, his cousins gaped at him with angry looks. Strange, he thought. He looked at Remus and James. They looked pleasantly surprised. If they were happy with it, then it can't such a bad choice after all. What was is the hat had said, Strong?

Five minutes later Remus and James were also placed in Gryffindor and Severus was beginning to wonder where he really wanted to be. All too soon, his time had come.

"Snape, Severus."

He took a deep breath and walked to the hat. As he sat on the stool he felt a moments reprise when he realized that no one was staring anymore. The hat came over his head, past his eyes and settled on his shoulders.

"Ah…I remember you." Whispered a voice in his ear. So this was how it was done. It made sense. "I remember your mother, more to the point I should say. She was an enigma, that one. And I see you have some of her qualities. Smart, yes very smart. You are a brilliant one. Perhaps Ravenclaw? But wait, there's more. Strength from hardship, and a certain…emotional fortitude. You would do well in Gryffindor young one." Yes, I wouldn't mind that, Severus thought. "Ah you're right, I'm sure you would. But is that really the best place for you to be? Not Hufflepuff no, you would scare the children with your intelligence. Smarter than your mother you are. With a deep desire to escape the past. Perhaps inherited from your father?" At the mention of his paternal foe, a deep anger flared to life within him. His mother was probably lying on the floor of their one roomed shack now, bleeding for the sake of her son's life. A desire for revenge grew in his heart, and his nervous thoughts gave way to hate. "Oho! Here's something new, something…hidden. So much sadness, a host of sorrows. Yes, I know exactly where you belong. They will help you on your way to greatness. You belong in SLYTHERIN!"

Xxx

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